


Quartz in the House

by JeckParadox



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Adulthood, Comedy, F/M, First Gentleman Steven, Marriage, President Maheswaran, President of the United States, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeckParadox/pseuds/JeckParadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>President of the United States, Connie Maheswaran-Universe, has to deal with a lot. It comes with the job, really. Public addresses, government and military operations, staying on top of everything from rumors of potential economic changes to whispers of war from places she had never heard of. But one thing she wasn't expecting was conspiracy theorists.<br/>Apparently, about 10% of voters believe that the United States is influenced by extraterrestrial polymorphic sentient minerals at the highest level of government.<br/>The problem with refuting this absurd claim is that it's technically true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Could you repeat that?" Connie asked, keeping her voice level, polite, curious. 

"Is the White House currently occupied by extraterrestrials?!"

She blinked, staring at the reporter. "I'm sorry, but what paper do you work for?"

"Keep the World Weird Magazine!" He said earnestly. "Do you refute the claim?"

"It's public knowledge that the group known as the Crystal Gems took a part in the formation of the United States. They are also personal friends, and family, of mine and-"

"Just answer the question!" 

She sighed, "Yes, technically, there are extraterrestrials currently inside the White House."

The entire crowd suddenly exploded with camera flashes and shouting. Connie jerked back in surprise, looking over the group. This was supposed to be an orderly affair. She would address the economic state of the country, so that various news organizations would have her official statements on the matter. She had a few extra minutes, having finished her statement early, so she began accepting other questions. 

"What level of control do they have over the operation of the United States Government?!" Another shouted. 

"What- they're not part of the government. My husband was adopted by-"

"First Gentleman Steven Maheswaran-Universe is an alien?!"

" _Oh God_ , yes, one half on his mother's side." She said, beginning to get irritated. "This is getting unprofessional," she muttered to her servicemen, "let's get out of here." 

"Yes Ma'am." Jasper, who had volunteered to be Connie's bodyguard for the duration of her terms, stepped onto the stage, prompting the usual quiet that comes from a seven-and-a-half foot tall giantess in a suit appearing. The reporters recovered quickly however, and began bombing Connie with more questions, in the cacophany, all of it blending together.

"Well, that's all the time I have for today. No further questions, thank you." She said, giving a polite nod to the crowd before letting Jasper and her other, more human, agents lead her back to her home. 

* * *

"Steven, I think I should warn you, the world now knows our deep, tragic secret."

"We have a tragic secret?!" Steven asked, shocked into attention from where he was lying on the bed. 

"Just being over-dramatic." She said, and then with a sigh, "Just like the press."

"What happened?" Steven asked, concerned. 

Jasper walked in with a grin, "Apparently, the world is shocked by the news that Commander in Chief over here is married to a Gem."

"Did... no one notice the quartz sitting in the middle of my belly?" He asked. "I know I've worn a few things to show it off-"

"I guess most people just assume it to be a fashion statement." Connie said, shrugging and lying down on the bed next to him. "You know, a lot of the world just sees the Crystal Gems as a myth. They're *almost* public knowledge, it's not like we've lied about them not being who they are. It's just... not too many people know."

"Huh." Steven said. "So, why would you want to 'warn' me?"

"Because you're going to get hounded about stuff on the Crystal Gems, and aliens, and people are going to constantly try to put words in your mouth and try to use you to justify their random ideas and-"

"Breathe, Connie, breathe." Jasper said, amused. 

"Yeah, thanks." Connie said, trying to get calm.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure that once they get used to us as the Crystal Gems, this whole thing will blow over!"

"Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

 

Pearl dialed the number on the phone, waiting for Steven to pick up. After a moment, his excited voice came through clear "Pearl! It's been too long! How have you been doing? What about the others?"

"We're all fine, for the most part." Pearl said.

"For... the most part?"

"Steven, would you have any idea why there are two thousand people in Beach City wearing tin foil hats and occasionally attempting to break into the house?"

"Um..."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, I upgraded the warning from General Audiences to Teen mainly because I mentioned the word 'fetish'.

"We are not currently at war with an alien empire." She said, grinding it out of her teeth. 

"Currently?!" One of the reporters said, shocked. 

"The United States has never been at war with an alien empire. Well, extraterrestrial empire." Connie clarified. "And if there are any questions _not_ about the Crystal Gems-"

"What is your response to being labeled the first Geophiliac president? In the whitehouse, are there any records of past presidents also having bizarre fetishes-"

"Nope." Connie said. "Nope. No more questions. Sorry, very urgent presidenting business to attend to." She said quickly, before turning around and leaving behind the storm of flashes and questions. 

"I think you just need to stop doing these interviews." Jasper commented, waving off following paparazzi. 

"I know! But I keep getting wrapped into them!" 

"Well, at least this means you have an hour free."

"That's true." Connie said, smiling a bit. "What's Steven doing?"

"Um..." Jasper began, looking nervously around. 

"Jasper." Connie asked. "My husband, what is he doing?"

"He's on a nation-wide healing spit tour."

Connie stopped walking, staring at Jasper in horror. "Oh no."

"He told me he didn't want to bother you about it, he just thought it had been a while since he made the rounds and... handed out vials of his spit."

"The last time we did that we were teenagers! And we had my mom there to try and sell them on using it, and we only did every major hospital in the state! And it still took a few weeks! He's one of the most recognized men in the country now! He could get kidnapped, or assassinated, or the masses will find out that I married alien Jesus, and try to set us up as God-Emperors!"

Jasper began grinning, full of hope.

"NO."

"Oh come on!" the big Gem growled. "You'd make a great God-Emperor. Democracy is nonsense anyway. The most efficient form of government is-"

"A tyrannical superbeing with her own court bent on the consumption of planet after planet in order to produce slaves?"

"Well..." Jasper began, "when you put it like that, it sounds bad, but the Diamonds ruled the Gem Empire like that for millions of years, with massive success! They were obviously doing something right! Just because Steven and the other Crystal Clods came out on top in the end doesn't erase millenniums of history."

"I'm not turning the United States into a theocratic dictatorship worshiping me and Steven."

"Fine." Jasper pouted. 

"Look, I need to get ahold of Steven. This whole thing of his, how public is it?"

"I think he's just taking the helicopter around." Jasper said, shrugging. "He basically just said ' _hey, I'm going on a nation-wide healing spit tour, it's been a while since I made the rounds and handed out vials of my spit_ ' and left."

"Darn it Steven. Who's on guard detail?"

"The Rubies."

"Oh god." Connie said, running her hands through her hair. "They practically worship him already! I need to run damage control, and get him back here."

* * *

"Steven, remember when we agreed that if we were going to do anything dangerous, we'd do it together?" Connie said that night, lying next to him. She had Jasper fly out to get him. If she sent anyone else, the Rubies would start a fight and the entire situation would get even more confused. As it was, Jasper grabbed Steven, and the Rubies followed her back to the helicopter without complaint. 

"Connie, it wasn't dangerous! Besides, all the other First Ladies did stuff like hospital trips and school visits and publicity things!"

"There's a difference between saying hi to sick kids to get their spirits up and magically healing all their diseases by kissing them!"

"I know! It's so much better." Steven said. "And it wasn't dangerous. Nothing happened."

"You're a political target Steven, it's always dangerous!"

"I have healing powers," he stuck one finger up, "two different instant bulletproof shields" a second and third finger, "and I was with five of our best bodyguards, each with their own little magical powers!" He held up the fourth finger. "That's four forms of protection! I was absolutely fine."

"I know you probably wouldn't have actually gotten hurt, but just imagine what people are going to say! You publicly made someone's arm grow back! On television!"

"Ew, they showed that on television? But his bones and meat and stuff were right in the open!"

"That's not the point, Steven, you're doing miracles. That's not helping our image."

"How could it hurt our image?"

"They already think we're little green creatures from Mars." Connie said.

"Peridot's never even visited Mars." Steven said, frowning. "Hey Connie, can we take Peridot to Mars the next time we have a few vacation days?"

"Sure, Steven."

"Nice!"

"But no more changing the subject, I want you to promise me, no more healing people in public unless it's an emergency."

"Okay. I promise."

* * *

 

"Well the good news is, they don't think you're space Jesus." Connie said, staring, bewildered at the newspaper headlines. 

_**ALIEN PRESIDENT'S HUSBAND HEALS HUNDREDS, SURGEONS GO ON STRIKE AGAINST HEALING SPIT** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Gggg and Kaoupa. Who basically just asked me to continue this. So I am. I can't promise regular updates. Just, random thoughts about adult Connie and Steven living in the Whitehouse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains discussions on sex, and mentions of pregnancy. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, I'd recommend skipping to the next chapter. Nothing worthy of an stricter age rating happens in the chapter, but still.

Connie Maheswaran - 46 Years Old

"So, President Maheswaran, on a more personal note, have you ever considered children coming into the picture, and how that would affect your duties as President of the United States?"

Connie managed to keep her expression friendly, "No, me and Steven have no plans regarding having children at the moment. In all likelihood, we'll hold off until my term is well over with."

"Are you sure?" the reporter asked, inching forward. "You're a woman in your forties, and if you're reelected, that's another eight years of your life gone. Now might be your last chance."

Connie didn't wince, "Me and Steven have had discussions about this, and for the foreseeable future, having children or getting pregnant aren't in the picture."

* * *

19 Years Old

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Connie asked, walking into the room with him. "Absolutely sure? I mean, who knows what could happen! I could get pregnant, and then we'd have to tell my Mom, and I promised, every day since I was like, fourteen, that I'd wait until marriage, and-"

"Connie, if you don't want to right now, we can wait." Steven said, smiling. 

"No, no, I want to try, it's just, are _you_ sure?"

"I'm sure." Steven said, lying down on the bed. 

Connie hesitated another minute, before climbing in after him. They began to kiss, but the moment that she wrapped her arms around him, the two burst into light. 

Stevonnie sat, dumbfounded, on the bed. "Ummmm"

* * *

 

24 Years Old

"That was amazing!" Steven said, eyes still sparkling. "The cake, the dance, everything! Thank you so much!"

"What are you thanking me for, you planned the wedding." Connie said.

"You said you didn't want a big one!" Steven gushed out, "and I invited everyone we knew, and rented out Fun Land, and decorated the entire temple!" he blushed, "you wanted something small, but you let me go all-out. So... thanks."

"Well, you wouldn't be Steven if you didn't go all-out. And I had fun. It was a great party Steven." She blushed, smiling out the window. "Your song was... was something else. I never heard you sing something like that!"

"I've... I've been working on it." he said proudly. 

Connie began shrugging off her dress. "Well, the night's almost over... but that doesn't mean that it has to end."

Steven turned red from head to toe as he began to take off his own dress clothes. "Are you sure you want to try again?"

"It's our wedding night, Steven." She explained. "Of course we are." She clenched her fist, determined. "And we are going to keep trying. Until we do it."

Steven turned an even deeper shade of red. Jumping onto the bed, the two began to furiously kiss. As the light began to brighten, the two separated, calming down. Trying again, they couldn't stop in time, and Stevonnie found themself lying on the bed once more. "Come on. We can do this!" they said to themself. "We just... need to not be in sync?"

They separated, it was getting harder to, as the urge to stay as Stevonnie had only become stronger as time passed, and tried again. Within two minutes, Stevonnie was back, sighing, frustrated. "I don't think we can try what we're trying to try and not be in sync."

The two split again, and both of them were sitting on opposite ends of the bed. "Well." Connie began. "We need to be on different wavelengths!"

"I'm not sure that's how it works."

"I mean, we're feeling conflicted about this right? So we should be able to stay separate!" She asked.

"We're not conflicted, we're just frustrated." Steven said, grinning a little. 

"Should we... fight?"

"I think that wouldn't really help with a Fusion." Steven said, looking down at his Gem. "And I don't want to hurt Stevonnie."

"Yeah..."

"Let's just keep trying!"

"Yeah!"

"We'll figure it out eventually!"

* * *

 

24 Years Old (the next morning)

Amethyst knocked on the door, and waited three minutes for Steven to shuffle over and hold it open. 

"Amethyst?" Steven asked, eyes red from lack of sleep.

"Hey Steven, how you holding up?"

"I'm... exhausted."

Amethyst grinned widely "I _bet_ you are."

"No, no, not like that. Well, I mean, kinda like that..." Steven sighed. "We barely got any sleep."

"Good on you two!" Amethyst clapped him on the back, nearly knocking him over. "Anyway! Pearl made breakfast!"

"I thought you guys were going to stay out of the temple for the night?" Steven asked. When he had finally started becoming a teenager, they had gotten around to putting up some walls around his bedroom. It had the benefit of a little privacy, but it also meant he had less awareness of who came and went through the temple. 

"We did, but it's the morning now! Come on, we have pancakes, and Pearl's not letting me have any until you both eat!"

Steven waved her off, heading back into the room, "we'll come down in a few minutes, just let us, get dressed."

"Sure thing!"

Steven closed the door behind him and sat down at the foot of his bed, still tangled in the sheets, Connie stared at the ceiling, bags under her eyes. "Every time. Every time we became Stevonnie!"

"I guess it just means we love each other too much." Steven said, shrugging. "I mean, sex is overrated, right? We have Fusion! Dad wished he could fuse with my Mom more than anything, and all the Gems think it means a lot more, anyway."

"Sure... sure, Steven." Connie said, closing her eyes. "Just... come here. Let's try one more time?"

"Right now? The Gems made breakfast for us-"

"Just... one more time. They'll understand."

"Okay." He touched the back of her head, and began to lift her face up to his so he could kiss her, when they were suddenly Stevonnie again. 

" _ **We didn't even get to kiss that time!**_ " They huffed, pacing the room. "You know what? This is okay, right? Right. Let's go eat breakfast."

* * *

31 Years Old

"Congratulations Connie!" Amethyst shouted, bursting out of the cake.

"Congratulations!" Pearl said, trying to ignore the mess Ameythst just made. 

"My little girl!" Connie's mother said, proudly. 

"You did it!" her father said, just as proud.

"Congratulations you two." Garnet said warmly. 

"Woo-Hoo Connie!" Greg congratulated.

"Congrats." Jasper said.

"Alright Connie!" Bismuth shouted, clapping her hands.

"Well done." Peridot complimented. Lapis, always at her side, gave a supportive and heartfelt thumbs-up to Connie.

"Aw guys." Connie said, blushing. 

"It's not every day you become the Mayor!" Steven said, cutting a large slice of what remained of the cake. 

"That's true." She said, picking up a glass of whine, "well, then, I propose a toast! To Beach City!"

"To Beach City!" the gathered Gems and family members lifted their own cups, even Pearl. 

The night went on, but in the end they each went off to their separate homes. As they neared the door, Steven smirked a little. "You know... it really isn't every day you become mayor."

"Hm? Connie asked, looking up at him as she unlocked the door to their own house. 

"Do you want to try... that... again?"

"What's 'that'?"

"You know, _that_?"

She bit her lip, walking into the house, Steven closing the door behind them. "I dunno, are you sure?"

"Worst outcome- we spend the night as Stevonnie." Steven said. "Best, we finally-"

"Okay." Connie said, grabbing his hand. "Okay!"

"Alright then, Miss Mayor."

She blushed, and let go of his hand. "Nope. You are not calling me that while we sleep together."

He laughed, "fine."

They headed into their bedroom, and managed to kiss for three minutes before Stevonnie found themself once again tangled in a confusing mess of blankets and sheets. "Crap."

* * *

 

46 Years Old

"Are you sure?" the reporter asked.

"I'm sure. Could we move on to the next question?"

"Is it because he's an alien? Is your DNA not compatible? Or is it because hybrids are sterile?"

"Could we. Move on. To the next question please?" She said, her face not breaking from it's friendly expression. 

"Ah, yes, of course." The reporter said nervously.

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Well, that could have gone better." Connie muttered, closing the door behind her. 

"Yeah..." Steven said, exhausted, as he collapsed on the bed, "Well, it's not like world peace is something we could accomplish in only two years."

"Still! I think I made a bunch of very good points! If the Minister would just get over himself for five damn minutes and think about the big picture- ugh!"

"You know..." Steven began, "If we really needed to shut down North Rhelasia's missile program me Peridot and Lapis could just pop over and, you know, clear their base."

"Steven!" Connie gasped, "I thought we agreed that I wouldn't use the Gems like that! I'm trying to _get rid_ of weapons of mass destruction, not make everyone think my family are weapons of mass destruction!"

"We wouldn't be mass-destroying anything. We'd just go to the base, and put the missiles deep in the ocean where they can't get it. Then we could de-escalate everything without a problem."

"What, by forcing them? Steven, I'm surprised at you."

"I'm just trying to help!" he said, annoyed, "It'd be so easy, why can't we use magic to help us? Jasper and the Rubies are already our bodyguards. And the Crystal Gems are supposed to keep the world safe."

"If the United States started using magic to destroy military bases in other countries that we aren't even at war with-" 

"Well, I mean, with some of the stuff he said in there-"

"Not technically at war with then! Same principle!"  she huffed, "It'd be a disaster. And how do you think it would make me look?! I spend two years trying to convince every nation on earth to get rid of their atomic weapons, and then I start using an entirely new, even more destructive weapon? I'd lose every bit of trust I've worked to build and all the credibility I ever had!"

"Lapis isn't a weapon!"

"That's not how the rest of the word will see it!" Connie shouted back, "We just... Can't, Steven! Magic will only make it worse!"

"I'm just trying to protect the Earth! And help you!"

"But it's my job!" Connie shouted, before stomping away, out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and siting on the toilet, crying. 

"...Connie?"

"Just... Just leave me alone for a while, Steven." 

"..." she heard the sound of him slumping to the floor next to the bathroom door.

"..." she sighed, closing her eyes. 

"Connie?" Steven asked again.

"Yeah Steven?" she didn't open her eyes. 

"I just want to help you. I know your job is hard, probably one of the hardest, and I want to help. But..."

"I know Steven. I know you want to help. And you are. Just by being here for me, you're helping."

"I want to help the world too!" 

"You've already saved the world from magical and alien threats." Connie said, "Let me try and solve non-magical problems without magic."

"I just... you're tired every day, and people aren't nice to you, and they're constantly saying things that make you made in interviews and the papers and-"

"Steven, I can handle it. I mean it. You help me by being here to support me, and that's all you need to do. All I want you to do."

"I know." Steven sighed, and Connie opened her eyes, looking at his silhouette pressed against the tinted glass. He laughed sadly, "I should be trying to make you feel better, and we're just talking about my feelings. Not very supportive, huh?"

"You're doing fine." Connie said.

"Do you need anything?"

"...I just need... to think about something else for a little while."

".. _.The sun is bright, our shirts are clean_." she nearly giggled, surprised at the familiar song, " _We're sitting here above the sea, come on and share this jam with me._ "

" _Peach or plum or strawberry, any kind is fine you see. Come on and share this jam with me. I'll do my best to give this jam the sweetness it deserves."_

 _"And I'll keep it fresh, jamming on these tasty preserves."_  Steven continued. 

_"Ingredients in harmony, we mix together perfectly, so come on and share this jam with me."_

The two of them were quiet for a bit.

"You know... Pearl probably would throw a fit, about us getting Gems involved in human wars" Steven admitted. 

"I'm already known as the alien president, anyway. I always did want to get more people used to magic. Maybe...." she shook her head, "Not taking Lapis to take anything down, but maybe break the idea of space expansion using Gemtech? Have Peridot show some people the basics? I've always felt bad that I have a space ship, but the U.S. doesn't. It'd give Rhelasia something productive to compete over, anyway."

"That could work. I'll talk to her about, the next time I see her."

"I mean, we already saved the Earth from the Diamonds, at the point, saving it from humans shouldn't be a big deal." Connie said. "...I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"I'm sorry too."

"I want to be Stevonnie." Steven said quietly, and Connie opened the door, "Do you?"

"...I could use a pick me up." she admitted with a smile. The two of them touched, bursting into light, and Stevonnie got up off the floor, walking towards the bedroom. "I hate fighting." the fusion muttered, before lying down on the mattress, and letting her mind relax, "But making up is always nice."


End file.
